remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
