you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize