Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
