Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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