Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
