just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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