I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
