he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
