Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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