This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
NoShamevember. You game?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
