i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
