She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize