I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
