Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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