you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
