Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
