Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
