The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
