i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
