White coat. Heels.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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