If i come over, it means nothing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
