nut hugger
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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