I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
