apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
