thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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