google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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