She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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