I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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