Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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