I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
