no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
