also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
