You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
