I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
