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just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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