There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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