Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
