Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
