What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize