checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
