I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
