she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
