Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize