Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize