Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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