My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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