You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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