Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize