I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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