Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I want a musical about memes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize