Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
