Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You may now shotgun with the bride
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
