cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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