sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
