I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
