well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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