mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
